What do you get when two hit songwriters collide for the third time? Another flock of clever, cheeky, laugh-out-loud funny songs that can come only from the minds of Randy & Dave. Excellent production, lyrical wit and clever wordplay are the hallmarks of a Randy & Dave recording. There is so much going on you’ll want to hear Snorkel over and over to discover it all.
“Randy Sharp & Dave Kinnoin have established themselves as one of family music’s top duos on their first two collaborations. On album three they continue their high standards, filling Snorkel with a dozen great tunes. They are particularly expert on constructing wildly hilarious story-songs… the title track will draw big laughs from listeners of all ages. Randy & Dave also excel here on their “maybe-not-as-zany” tunes… a superb CD.”
— NAPPA Awards
“Filled with catchy songs whose lyrics frequently cause youngsters to do double-takes before bursting into laughter, Snorkel is a prime example of why Randy & Dave albums are so popular. The duo’s deftness at weaving catchy melodies and humorous lyrics into irresistibly fun tunes is a hallmark of their style … display(s) Randy & Dave’s ability to tap into a child’s quirky way of seeing the world … two highly skilled, perpetually playful songwriters’ comedic abilities … this wonderful album grab(s) listeners by the imagination and won’t let go. Resistance is futile.”
— Tillywig Awards
“Quirky fun and a signature off-the-wall approach to tunes and lyrics are paramount in this new collaboration…Admirable wordsmithing is on display throughout…”
– Lynne Heffley, Parents’ Choice Awards
“Randy & Dave, who are great musicians on their own, really bring out the best of each other together. This third album as a duo is a real charmer.”
— Michael Berick, L.A. Parent Magazine
“wonderful performances … a fun and silly album.”
— Bookworm Bev
“hilarious set of silly tunes … highly recommended!”
— Midwest Book Review
Awards!
NAPPA
Parents’ Choice Silver
Tillywig Best Family Fun
Creative Child Magazine CD of the Year – Funny Musical CDs for Kids category
Hear Randy & Dave on the Radio
Kids Place Live, SiriusXM
Kids Corner, WXPN
Radio Active Kids, Asheville FM
Musical Merry Go Round, KDHX
The Carousel, WPKN
Imagination Parade, WFDU
Randy is Grammy®-winning songwriter Randy Sharp. Randy has had seven #1 country singles and has written songs for country luminaries including Reba McEntire and Marty Robbins, Dixie Chicks, Emmylou Harris, Clay Walker, Dolly Parton, as well as other music stars such as Linda Ronstadt, Edgar Winter, Blood Sweat and Tears, Art Garfunkle, Patti Page and Big Bird, and Glen Campbell. Randy has such a rich history in music that it would take pages to cover it all.
Dave is Dave Kinnoin, whose previous eight children’s recordings have racked up an impressive list of over 20 awards including Parents’ Choice Gold, NAPPA, Academics’ Choice, Mom’s Choice, KIDS First and Creative Child. But Dave is not the only one who records his music. Chances are if you have enjoyed songs by Mickey Mouse, Kermit the Frog, Winnie the Pooh, Big Bird, Bear in the Big Blue House, Ariel, Jasmine, Belle, Sebastian the Crab, and Larry the Cucumber, you know Dave Kinnoin, songwriter for some of the most beloved characters in television and movies.
verse one:
Skip-singin’ to a made-up tune,
Word weavin’ all afternoon.
While away an hour or two—
Well I don’t mind if I do.
I went lookin’ for a getaway,
Wound up in a daydream day
With a plan to take it nice and slow
With absolutely nowhere to go.
verse two:
Side-steppin’ all the marchin’ drums,
Stayin’ ready for whatever comes.
Maybe let a laugh break through—
Well I don’t mind if I do.
Catch a rhythm from a far-off train,
Find a reason why I can’t complain.
It isn’t hard to just enjoy the flow
With absolutely nowhere to go.
bridge one:
No destination,
No expectation,
Armed with a smile and a big hello.
bridge two:
No destination,
No expectation,
And what lies ahead,
There’s no way to know
With absolutely nowhere to go.
(repeat verses one and two)
Key of A
83 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | A DA | E AE | D A | E AE |
Verse 1: | A | E | D A | E | F#m | E | D A | E | D E |
Turnaround 1: | A DA | E AE | D A | E |
Verse
Turnaround 2: | A |
Bridge 1: | Dmaj7 | B7 | A G | F# |
Solo: | D | A | E | D E | A | E | D A | E |
Bridge 2: | Dmaj7 | B7 | A G | F# | D E |
Verse
Verse
Verse
Outro: | A | A ||
verse one:
Mr. Berschmicker resides in a tree
With Mary Sue, a parrot who adores potpourri.
They play golf on Mondays and aim for the weeds.
They eat pickle ice cream and spit out the seeds.
verse two:
Mr. Berschmicker and Sue have a pal
Alexander Salamander, a.k.a. Sal.
He shows up with walnuts, and when everyone’s fed,
He marches around with a shell on his head.
bridge one:
Sue spreads her wings, and then she sings off-key,
Perched on the wrist of tone-deaf Mr. B.
To Sal’s alarm, B adds some harmony,
If you can call it that.
waltz one:
Here in our tree is a wondrous place.
Climb up and get a smile on your face.
We’ll leave the ladder down, just in case.
Tra la la la la la la.
verse three:
Mr. Berschmicker likes tapping his feet.
Sal and Sue like tapping too, but can’t keep a beat.
So their job’s observing where each tap is put
And eating all bugs that might get underfoot.
bridge two:
Hang out and jam with this fun family,
The crazy clan up in the canopy.
Just grab a limb and join the symphony,
If you can call it that.
waltz two:
Up in our tree there is room galore.
These branches could hold a hundred or more.
No need to knock, since we have no door.
Tra la la la la la la.
(repeat waltz one)
outro:
Tra la la la la la la.
Key of F
120 bpm in 4/4
155 bpm in 6/8
Verse 1: 4/4 | F | Gm | C | F | F | Gm | F | C F |
Interlude 1: | C | F | C | F C |
Verse
Interlude 2: | C | F | C | F C/E |
Bridge 1: | Dm | Bb | Gm | C | Am | Dm | Eb | C |
Waltz 1: | 6/8C | C | D | G | C | C | D7 | G7 |
Verse (4/4)
Interlude 3: | C | F | C | F C/E |
Bridge
Waltz (6/8) (repeat to fade)
verse one:
The person at the podium pompously proclaims
That he can name an animal just by looking at its poo.
Impressed by all the species and feces that he names,
I ask what makes an elephant laugh
And what ticks off a grumpy giraffe.
He doesn’t have a clue. ‘Cause…
chorus one:
Everybody’s ignorant of almost everything.
We can’t even imagine what we don’t know.
We’ve learned a little tiny bit,
But in the grander scheme of it,
We’re ignorant and infinitely so.
verse two:
While gazing at the galaxies, Grandma gets the prize
For listing all the 88 constellations, A to V.
Yeah, no one’s gonna doubt her—
You know, outer spacey-wise—
But when it comes to skateboarding gear
Or video games, she doesn’t appear
To know as much as me. ‘Cause…
chorus two:
Everybody’s ignorant of almost everything.
We can’t even imagine what we don’t know.
Once we’ve learned a tiny bit,
We think we’re smart, but let’s admit
We’re ignorant and infinitely so.
bridge:
Some things we might never get,
And some things we just don’t know…yet.
verse three:
He finally finds the formula he failed to find for years,
And now the world is making him out to be some kind of whiz.
His theories, once rejected, are now respected by his peers.
It’s true he’s got more knowledge than most,
And sure, he’s got a reason to boast,
But the truth of the matter is…
chorus three:
Everybody’s ignorant of almost everything.
We can’t even imagine what we don’t know.
We’ve learned a little tiny bit, but in the grander scheme of it,
We’re ignorant and infinitely so.
chorus four:
Everybody’s ignorant of almost everything.
We can’t even imagine what we don’t know.
Once we’ve learned a little bit,
We think we’re smart, but let’s admit
We’re ignorant and infinitely so.
Key of D
95 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | D | Ddim7 | D A | D A |
Verse 1: | F | C/E | Cm/Eb | D | Dm | Am | C | A7 | A7 |
Chorus 1: | D | Ddim7 | D | A7 | D | Gm | D A7 | D A7 |
Verse
Chorus 2: | D | Ddim7 | D | A7 | D | Gm | D A7 | D |
Bridge: | Am | D | Am | D |
Solo: | D | Ddim7 | D | Gm7 |
Verse 3: | F | C/E | Cm/Eb | D | Dm | Am | C | A7 | A7 | A7|
Chorus 3: | D | Ddim7 | D | A7 | D | Gm | D A7 | D A7 |
Chorus 4: | D | Ddim7 | D | A7 | D | Gm | D (slow down) A7 |
Outro: | (tempo) D | Ddim7 | D A | D A D ||
verse one:
Harry is a hirsute lumberjack.
He’s got hair on his knuckles.
He’s got hair on his back.
His dog and he both weigh in
At two hundred fifty pounds,
And when he sings to Fluffy,
This is how it sounds:
chorus:
My little dog.
My little puppy.
My little dog.
My cutie pie,
My, my, my, my little puppy.
verse two:
Fluffy is a fearsome, mighty sight.
She’s got a mountain lion stare.
She’s got a grizzly bear bite.
She belches like a cannon,
Scaring all fleas off her fur,
Acting all ferocious,
Until he sings to her…
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
Saturday night—time to wash the week off—
Harry and Fluffy in the horse trough.
It’s a pretty silly sight for the lumber camp staff.
They all think it’s funny,
But they’re too afraid to laugh.
(repeat chorus three times)
Key of C
118 bpm in 4/4
160 bpm in 6/8
Intro: 4/4 | C | C | C | C |
Verse: | C | C | C | G | F Fm | 2/4C | 4/4D | F | G | G |
Chorus: | 6/8C | G | Dm7 G | C | C C7 | F | C | G |
Turnaround: | 4/4C | C |
Verse
Chorus (6/8)
Turnaround (4/4)
Bridge: | F | G | C | E7 | Am Am/G | Am/F# | F | G | G |
Chorus (6/8)
Chorus
Chorus
Outro: | C | C ||
chorus:
That face should be in the funny papers,
And speaking on the world’s behalf,
That face should be in the funny papers
‘Cause everyone can use a laugh.
verse one:
Your facial distortion
By way of contortion
Just made me shoot milk out my nose.
Comical creatures
Would kill for those features.
When they get a load of you,
They’re gonna lose it, too.
(repeat chorus)
verse two:
So weird and wiggledy,
Higgledy-piggledy—
How do you make it do that?
Each muscle and tendon
Is overextendin’
In such a peculiar way,
Even the monkeys say…
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
When I’m feelin’ ho humbug,
One look at that goofy mug
And it cracks me up.
Everything is out of place,
Like you fell from outer space.
All I know for sure is…
(repeat chorus)
Key of F
105 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | F Dm7 | Gm7 C | F Dm7 | Gm7 C |
Chorus: | F Dm7 | Gm7 C | F Dm7 | Gm7 C | Bb Bdim | F G7 | Bb C | F |
Verse: | E7 | Am | G7 | C | B7 | Em | F#7 | B7 | Caug |
Chorus
Verse
Chorus
Bridge: | A7 | A7 | Dm | G7 | Eb | C |
Last Chorus: | F Dm7 | Gm7 C | F Dm7 | Gm7 C | Bb Bdim | F (slow down) G7 |
| (tempo) Bb C | F D7 | Gm C | F ||
verse one:
When the top is the bottom
And the bottom’s the top,
When the drop is the rise
And the rise is the drop,
When the stop is the go
And the go is the stop,
You know it’s a mixed-up day.
verse two:
When the thunder’s the quiet
And the quiet’s the thunder,
When the blunder’s the fix
And the fix is the blunder,
When under is over
And over is under,
You know it’s a mixed-up day.
bridge:
I put on my clothes inside out,
Bring in the trash,
Whisper a shout,
Stand on my head,
And scratch my feet.
I could let a bit of little
Mixed-up throw me.
If it turns out good,
It just shows to go me
It can sound pretty darn sweet
When a bird goes woof
And a dog goes tweet.
verse three:
When the peasant’s the king
And the king is the peasant,
When the present’s the past
And the past is the present,
When the pheasant’s the hunter
And the hunter’s the pheasant,
You know it’s a mixed-up day
(repeat bridge)
verse four:
When the hammer’s the nail
And the nail is the hammer,
When the grammar’s the grunt
And the grunt is the grammar,
When the slammer’s the freedom
And the freedom’s the slammer,
You know it’s a mixed-up day.
verse one:
Floods can happen suddenly—not a spot left dry.
Folks start floating out to sea, and that’s exactly why…
chorus one:
I’m gonna wear a snorkel everywhere I go.
I say safety first, prepare for the worst,
‘Cause you know, you never know.
A little dose of caution just makes good sense.
So go on and stare, but I’m gonna wear a snorkel.
verse two:
Meteors turn fiery red, falling from the sky.
One could land right on my head, and that’s exactly why…
chorus two:
I’m gonna wear a helmet everywhere I go.
I say safety first, prepare for the worst,
‘Cause you know, you never know.
A little dose of caution just makes good sense.
So go on and stare, but I’m gonna wear a snorkel.
And a helmet.
verse three:
If a twister comes to town, I’ll kiss the ground goodbye
Or add more weight to hold me down. That’s exactly why…
chorus three:
I’m gonna wear an anchor everywhere I go.
I say safety first, prepare for the worst,
‘Cause you know, you never know.
A little dose of caution just makes good sense.
So go on and stare, but I’m gonna wear a snorkel.
And a helmet. And an anchor.
bridge:
The snorkel and the helmet
And the anchor chain around my boot
Could save the day, and, by the way,
They complement my hazmat suit
And color-coordinated parachute.
chorus four:
I’m gonna wear a snorkel everywhere I go
I say safety first, prepare for the worst,
‘Cause you know, you never know.
A little dose of caution just makes good sense.
So go on and stare, but I’m gonna wear a snorkel.
And a helmet. And an anchor.
Sunscreen. Knee pads. Bug spray. Goggles.
Shin guards. Lip balm. Oven mitts.
And a snorkel.
verse one:
Curly Cat
Scratches all the chairs and rugs.
A piece of string
Guarantees some pokes and tugs.
This sweet, ferocious fur ball
Has no sympathy for bugs
That crawl or fly—
Fair game for my…
verse two:
Curly Cat
Doesn’t follow human laws,
So it’s okay
To lick bellies, butts and paws.
There’s no need for utensils;
Forks have nothing on those claws
That pierce and pry
And satisfy
Curly Cat.
bridge:
I don’t get any bravos
Or advice worth two centavos,
But oh, I get so much more:
A spit-and-mouse-meat taco
That I trip on and then knock
Over food I meant to pour
That scatters on the floor.
verse three:
Curly Cat
Takes a moment to enjoy
A broken twig
That’s become the latest toy.
What started out a plaything’s
Now a villain to destroy.
Hello, goodbye.
Short work for sly
Curly Cat.
verse four:
Curly Cat
Has a favorite game to play
Quite late at night
When a moonbeam shines our way
And hits the pillow just right
To be unsuspecting prey.
One pounce, one sigh.
Sweet dreams for my
Curly Cat.
chorus:
I was caught in a tough situation
When a squirrel, one small squirrel with a grin,
Just arrived here with no invitation,
And, to be polite, I let her in.
verse one:
She proceeded to dance on the table
To a tune that was stuck in her head.
Something gooey and sweet
Got stuck to her feet.
That’s why there are ants in your bed.
chorus two:
I was caught in a tough situation
When a squirrel, one small squirrel with a smirk,
Walked right in, and to my consternation,
Kinda, really, sorta went berserk.
verse two:
Just imagine Tasmanian devil
Turned maniacal drum majorette.
One twirl episode
Broke the commode,
And that’s how the ceiling got wet.
bridge:
There I was in the thick of it,
Trying my best to make her stop.
I couldn’t believe it when you-know-who
Kept doing things I’d never do.
verse three:
And then just as you walked up the driveway,
She escaped through a hole in the wall.
She just couldn’t stay, but asked me to say
She sure likes your new bowling ball.
chorus three:
I was caught in a tough situation
When a squirrel, one small squirrel full of glee,
Brought about all of this devastation.
She told me right before she split
She was sorry that she threw a fit,
And she didn’t want you thinkin’ it was me.
Key of Bb
118 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | Bmaj7 | Bmaj7 | F#maj7 | F#maj7 |
| G#7 | G#7 | B | C# D |
Chorus: | Bb Eb | Bb | Gm Cm | F |
| Bb D7 | Gm Gm/F Em7b5 | Cm7 F7 | Bb |
Verse: | F | Bb | F | Bb | A7 | Dm | Eb | C7 F |
Chorus
Verse
Bridge: | Bmaj7 | Bmaj7 | F#maj7 | F#maj7 | G#7 | G#7 | B | C# D |
Solo: (chorus chords)
Verse
Chorus 3: | Bb Eb | Bb | Gm Cm | F | Bb D7 | (slow down) Gm Gm/F Em7b5 |
| Eb Ebm | Bb G7 | (tempo) Cm7 F | Bb ||
verse one:
Once I climbed the highest mountain
Just ‘cause it was there.
Standing on the summit
Was a thrill beyond compare.
Then I trekked to both the poles
As Sir Hillary.
Everyone said I was great.
Oh wait, that wasn’t me.
verse two:
Twice I made a solo flight
Where none had flown before.
First Atlantic, then Pacific
Oceans shore to shore.
“Fly, Amelia, fly,” they cried,
“Into history!”
I got to meet the chief of state.
Oh wait, that wasn’t me.
bridge:
Holy Moly, I get swept away
By the grit and the glory
Of a true adventure story.
verse three:
Once I started up a band
With Ringo, George, and John.
A TV host named Sullivan said,
“Sure, I’ll put ‘em on.”
From that day the whole world got
A lot more Beatle-y.
We sold a lot of records, mate.
Oh wait, that wasn’t me.
(repeat bridge)
verse four:
“Wilma might not walk again,”
Or so my mom was told.
Then I ran around the track
And won Olympic gold.
Three times at the Summer Games,
I claimed victory.
1960, mark the date.
Oh wait, that wasn’t me.
tag:
Everyone said I was great.
Oh wait, that wasn’t me.
Key of Bb
105 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | Bb | Bb |
Verse 1: | Bb | Bb | Bb | F | Eb Bb | Eb F | Gm7 F Eb Bb | F |
Turnaround 1: | Bb | Bb |
Verse
Turnaround 2: | Bb |
Bridge: | G7 | Cm | Ab7 | F | F |
Verse
Turnaround 3: | Bb |
Solo: | Bb | Bb | Bb | F | Eb Bb | Eb F |Gm7 F Eb Bb | F | F |
Bridge
Verse
Outro: | Bb | Gm7 F Eb Bb | F | Bb | Bb ||
verse one:
I’m starin’ out a broken window
At the dirty street below.
A passing poster on the bus says,
“This is the place to go.”
Oh, it’s such a pretty picture—
A little piece of paradise.
Brown eyes and root beer skin.
I want to jump right in.
chorus:
I should have been born in Mexico,
Where all my troubles would vanish,
And all the songs that my heart can hear
Sound so much sweeter in Spanish.
All day I’d play mi guitarra
Beneath a great big sombrero.
So let la banda begin.
Ay, yi, yi, I should have been
Born in Mexico.
verse two:
They say there’s gonna be a snowstorm.
We’re lookin’ at a foot or two.
Guess I’m kind of stuck inside here
Without a lot to do.
Not exactly swimsuit weather—
Ahh, but wouldn’t that be nice.
It’s kinda hard to grin
With icicles on my chin.
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
Mexico. Yeah, I know,
But could it be the case
That that’s the very place
Where I was meant to be?
I feel it en mi corazón.
(repeat chorus)
Key of C
125 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | C | C | C | C |
Verse: | C | C | Fmaj7 | Fmaj7 | Dm7 | Dm7 | G | G |
| Em | A7 | Dm | Fm | C | C | G | G7 |
Chorus: | C | C | G | G | Dm7 | G | C | C | C | C7 | F | F | C | G |
Turnaround: | C | C |
Verse
Chorus
Bridge: | Fm | Fm | C | C |Eb | Eb | G | G |
Chorus
Outro: | C | F | C | G | C | C | C ||
