Click a Song Title to Listen and See the Lyrics.
Dunce Cap Kelly
WISH ME A LOT OF MUCK
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
I’m a frog, and I’m glad—I leap from log to lily pad.
I love my life in the bog. I’m a happy frog.
verse two:
It’s such bliss in the ooze—I’m glad that this is the life I choose.
It feels so right, I could croak. Hey, it’s not a joke.
chorus one:
Let me tell ya, buddy,
I like bein’ muddy
And wet all the time.
I like skinny-dippin’,
Jumpin’ high and slippin’
Away through the slime.
Kiss me and don’t say “yuck!” (Yuck!)
And wish me a lot of muck.
verse three:
I’m a frog through and through—I’m not a dog or a kangaroo.
It’s much too dry where they romp. Me, I’ll take the swamp.
chorus two:
I like bein’ soggy;
That’s why I’m a froggy
And not somethin’ else.
I sing, “Ya-ha-hooey!”
When I’m good and gooey
And pleased with myself.
Kiss me and don’t say “yuck!” (Yuck!)
And wish me a lot of muck.
bridge:
I can’t tell you how many times
Others ask me
“How can you live like that?”
I pause a bit as I chew a fly,
And then they split—
Hmm, I wonder why?
chorus three:
When my ma and pa see
I’m a little mossy,
They don’t have a cow.
Don’t get stuck in slo-mo.
Jump into the photo
They’re takin’ right now.
Kiss me and don’t say “yuck!” (Yuck!)
And wish me a lot of muck.
HEY, MO
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
This fisherman is sorry, but there’s been a slight delay.
Your frisky calamary took a dive into the bay.
That’s what it did, and now that squid has swum quite far away.
I’ll get you another if my brother says okay.
chorus:
Hey, Mo, may I please have another squid for my cat?
His dinner just went subsea; that’s why he rubs me leg like that.
He likes ’em big and juicy, so if you see one that’s fat,
Hey, Mo, may I please have another squid for my cat?
verse two:
Now, don’t you fret, Goliath—I’m on real good terms with Mo.
You truly must relieth on the goodness of my bro.
He’s very fair, with heart to spare—he understands our woe.
Don’t you cry, my sweet one—soon you’ll eat one up, I know.
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
He’s done quite well this trip.
Thirteen rats abandoned ship.
He guarded every fish we decked.
How ’bout a little respect?
(repeat chorus)
NONSENSE FOR BREAKFAST
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
I had some nonsense for breakfast.
It tasted good, I must say.
I sniffed it a swift bit and licked it a little,
Grabbed it and stabbed it and soaked it with spittle.
I like it that way.
I had some nonsense for breakfast,
And I’ve been (burp!) burpin’ it up all day.
verse two:
I had some silly juice at snack time.
It was a cool, bubbly rinse.
I tipped it and sipped it and gargled it loudly.
I jumped up and pumped up a stream that flew proudly.
I made my mama wince.
I had some silly juice at snack time,
And I’ve been (burp!) burpin’ it up ever since.
bridge:
Some folks are quick to tell us
To burp is not polite.
It could be they’re just jealous
‘Cause they’re burps don’t come out right.
I do know this: Their attitude
Forever will confuse me.
I never thought myself so rude
As to (burp!) Oh, excuse me!
verse three:
I had some nonsense for breakfast.
It cracked some jokes right there on my tray.
I chuckled and suckled its sweetness with vigor.
I dished more and wished for a stomach much bigger.
Aw, but that’s okay. (I got enough.)
(You got too much!) (That’s my mama.)
I had some nonsense for breakfast,
And I’ve been (burp, burp, burp, burp, burp, burp, burp!)
Burpin’ it up all day.
(Burp!) (Excuse me.)
OFFER OF LOVE
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
There are strings on this old guitar,
And your kite only goes so far,
But I swear on the stars above,
There are no strings on my offer of love.
verse two:
There are holes in these old blue jeans,
And I just lost your jellybeans.
There’s a whole lot I’ve been dreamin’ of,
But there are no holes in my offer of love.
bridge:
Precious angel, you have shown me
All you need to show.
Just one look in your eyes
Tells me all I need to know.
verse three:
There are doubts in the price of tea.
We may not live in luxury,
But I’m sure I don’t need a shove
‘Cause there are no doubts in my offer of love.
tag:
No strings, no holes, no doubts
In my offer of love.
GOODNIGHT, LITTLE MAX
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
Goodnight, little Max—it’s the end of your day.
Slumber deep under sleepy skies.
Sweet dreams, little Max—let me send them your way.
It’s time to close your eyes.
Rock to the rhythm of my guitar.
Ride on a moonbeam to yonder star.
Always remember how precious you are to me.
verse two:
Goodnight, little Max—here’s a magical tune
From the land where the sandman sings.
He calls, “Little Max…” You will follow him soon.
You need the world be brings.
Don’t try to fight it, for Heaven’s sake.
One dreamland ticket is yours to take.
Go where you want to, as long as you wake to me.
bridge:
Whirling and swirling around,
Wrapped in the arms of a dream you have found.
You are the wonder,
You are the light,
In my morning sun.
My dear little one,
Goodnight.
WITH A PORCUPINE
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
I’m not the softest touch, as you can see.
I have a lot of real sharp quills on me.
Under the surface, I am just like you.
I want to make new friends as others do.
chorus:
With a porcupine, you must be
Very, very careful—trust me.
We can have a good time, just we two.
Let the most important rule be:
“Don’t get too close,” and you’ll be fine
With a porcupine.
verse two:
I like to goof around like other folks,
Do lots of crazy things and crack some jokes,
Run through the forest, laughin’ all the way,
As long as you don’t bump me as we play!
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
It would be charmin’
To go hand-in-hand down the boulevard,
But then, quite alarmin’
If you hurt yourself—you might take it hard.
(repeat chorus)
DUNCE CAP KELLY
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
Kids are full of mischief, and our teacher, Mr. Stubbble
Says he simply cannot tolerate the children causin’ trouble.
He made a special hat out of a silly pointed cup,
And he gets it from his desk each time some bozo messes up.
verse two:
Kelly Jo McWilder has a knack for misbehavin’
In the ways that keep her wearin’ that old hat that Stub’s been savin’.
This mornin’ during recess, she developed quite a cough—
She had puffed on Stubble’s pipe, and boy, that really set him off!
chorus:
Dunce Cap Kelly is sittin’ in the corner.
She messed up, even though we tried to warn ‘er.
Now there’s one big tear fallin’ on the ground.
Now there’s one sad face that can’t turn around.
Dunce Cap Kelly, Dunce Cap Kelly.
While the rest of the class is playin’ Hi Dee Ho,
Dunce Cap Kelly has fifteen minutes more to go.
(Before she can take the hat off!)
verse three:
Kelly Jo McWilder is a whiz at mathematics.
She excels at foreign languages and mental acrobatics.
But she can’t seem to get it through her noggin, poor, sweet dear
That the penalty for breakin’ rules is swift and quite severe.
verse four:
All of us remember one such incident last Tuesday.
It was Show-And-Tell, and for our Kel, a rather big bad news day.
It came her turn, and she proceeded to produce a pair
Of exotic, multi-colored, perfumed ladies’ underwear!
(repeat chorus—new last line: It’s humiliating!)
bridge:
Kelly’s only problem is, her brain does not compute
The same way Mr. Stubble’s does.
I think she got that because…
She’s a kid!
verse five:
All the class is concentratin’ on the new assignment.
It’s an essay on the majesty of etiquette refinement.
Now Kelly Jo is smilin’ like a spider with a fly,
And her pencil’s gettin’ hotter that a weenie on the fry.
verse six:
Pretty soon it’s Kelly’s turn to read hers to the others.
She begins, “It’s good to be nice to your sisters and your brothers…”
The class starts goin’ crazy like hyenas on the prowl,
As the look on Stubble’s face goes from a big grin to a scowl.
verse seven:
What he cannot see is that which Kelly is concealing
On the backside of her paper that the class finds so appealing.
It’s basically a big pipe in a face that’s cherry red.
It’s a picture of old Stubble with a dunce cap on his head!
chorus three:
Dunce Cap Kelly is sittin’ in the corner.
She messed up, and we’re all supposed to scorn ‘er.
Now there’s one big smile, juicy like a grape.
Now there’s one big laugh dyin’ to escape.
Dunce Cap Kelly, Dunce Cap Kelly.
While the rest of the class sits like a gift wrap bow,
Dunce Cap Kelly has fifteen minutes more to go.
(Maybe twenty!)
tag:
Dunce Cap Kelly. (Her behavior is outrageous!)
Dunce Cap Kelly. (I believe it is contagious!)
Keep your chuckles in your belly—you could be next, you know.
Dunce Cap Kelly has fifteen minutes more to go.
(It was worth it!)
Thanks A Lot
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
My super sports-cart was well in the lead.
I rode it proudly at maximum speed.
My sister’s kite string got caught in the wheels.
I went flyin’ head-over-heels.
(And I said to my sister…)
chorus:
Thanks a lot—I needed that
To round out a perfect day.
Thanks a lot—you succeeded at
Makin’ life so light and gay.
If you want to boost my thrill,
Tie my hands and feet and kick me down the hill.
Thanks a lot—you really have a special way.
verse two:
I was so hungry, my chin was all wet.
I couldn’t wait till the table was set.
I sneaked a cookie—my mom heard the crunch.
She said, “No, no, not before lunch!”
(She took the cookie right out of my mouth, and I said to her…)
repeat chorus—new ending:
Hide the cake and ice cream cones.
Put me on a diet till I’m skin and bones.
Thanks a lot—you really have a special way.
bridge:
Life is a riot—it’s such fun to see
Who the newest angel is going to be.
I can’t imagine who’s waiting out there
To bite me on the nose just when I’m most unaware.
verse three:
I turned the hose on—I felt in control.
I didn’t notice the new gopher hole.
It filled with water as I played with glee.
Gopher popped up screamin’ at me.
(And he shouted as loud as he could…)
repeat chorus—new ending:
Many kids have charmed my heart,
But your divine behavior is a work of art.
Thanks a lot—you really have a special way.
STUDY BUDDIES
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
This world is filled with wonder.
Sometimes I lie down under the stars
And gaze up to see what I can see.
My best friend, Kenny Grover,
Can’t sleep and comes on over to see what’s happenin’.
He looks up with me.
Oh, wow! We just can’t believe our eyes.
Right now, we’re a couple of lucky guys.
chorus:
We’re study buddies
Learnin’ what it’s all about.
It’s so fascinatin’.
Study buddies.
Maybe we can figure it out.
We’re investigatin’
All the questions under the sun.
We believe that two heads are better than one.
That’s why we’re study buddies,
My buddy and me.
verse two:
Our parents and our teachers
Are quite amazing creatures.
We watch their habits to see what makes ’em go.
I’ve noticed—so has Kenny—
In this world, there aren’t any among us
Who know all there is to know.
We were born to think ideas through.
Yes, sir, we’ll decide what’s really true.
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
Sometimes the answer seems so crystal clear.
Other times I don’t even know
Who I am
Or why I’m here.
(repeat chorus)
VERY BEAR-Y TO ROAR
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
When I have eaten all my honey,
And I want a little bit more,
I point to my empty plate.
How long do I have to wait?
What do I do? I roar! (Roar!)
chorus:
It’s very bear-y to roar. (Roar!)
It’s very bear-y to roar. (Roar!)
It’s a little scary, and it’s fun galore.
And it’s very bear-y to roar. (Roar!)
verse two:
When I go over to my friend’s house,
I knock, knock, knock on the door,
But nobody hears the sound.
They don’t know that I’m around.
What do I do? I roar! (Roar!)
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
Some never try it in their verbal diet.
They live their lives quietly.
Some may deny it, but I am aware
Each of us is a little bear.
verse three:
Sometimes I get to feelin’ goofy.
I roll all around on the floor.
My sister comes in the den.
I sneak up on her, and then
What do I do? I roar! (Roar!)
(repeat chorus)
STRETCHIN’ THE TRUTH
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
I was doin’ a little fishin’ at my favorite fishin’ hole.
Just me and the sky and the pond and my eye on my fishin’ pole.
Then, all of a sudden, wham! I felt a tug, and that tug was strong!
The fish I reeled in had to have been… ten feet long!
(Ten feet long? Hmmm…)
chorus:
Could it be you’re stretchin’ the truth a little bit?
I don’t think I can trust you as far as I can spit.
I do believe you’re havin’ an exaggeration fit.
Could it be you’re stretchin’ the truth a little bit?
verse two:
I was havin’ a little footrace with a very fast friend of mine.
We ran like the wind as both of us grinned at that finish line.
Then, all of a sudden, vroom! I threw my legs into “super power”!
I leaped to the lead and won at a speed of… ninety miles an hour!
(Ninety miles an hour? Hmmm…)
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
We are not suggesting you’re a liar.
Oh, that would be an awful thing to say.
May we simply advise you it may not be wise to
Get quite so carried away?
(repeat chorus)
spoken interlude:
I myself would never endeavor to cleverly re-write history so as to make my words and deeds more remarkable than they already are. To do so would only diminish my role as a key player in the human drama, someone whose magnificent skills are in such demand, I hardly know which multi-million dollar deal to sign next.
(Multi-million dollar deal? Hmmm…)
(repeat chorus)
GOOD FRIENDS LIKE MINE
words and music by Dave Kinnoin and Jimmy Hammer
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP) and Sync Track (ASCAP)
verse one:
Dolphins are jumpin’—isn’t that somethin’?
Poppin’ through seaweed rings.
Flippin’ and flashin’ smiles as they’re splashin’.
Oh, how my sea heart sings!
Seagulls are swoopin’, low loop-the-loopin’,
Towin’ a welcoming sign.
Everyone ought to have
chorus:
Good friends like mine.
Good friends like mine.
Everyone ought to have good friends.
verse two:
Under the surface, brimmin’ with purpose,
Little fish are in school.
Swimmin’ their hearts out, one of ’em darts out.
Stay in line—that’s the rule.
Tiny tails wiggle, bubbly mouths giggle,
Makin’ a trail through the brine.
Everyone ought to have
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
You would be amazed if you saw my world.
It’s the kind that dreams are made of.
Simply find you very own shade of blue…
verse three:
Deeper it’s dandy, rocky or sandy.
Shellfish are out to play.
Cordial crustaceans extend invitations,
Beckoning us to stay.
There are shiny red starfish—even guitarfish,
Creatures of every design.
Everyone out to have
chorus three:
Good friends like mine.
Good friends like mine.
Everyone ought to have good friends—
Pals in the shallow and deep ends—
Everyone ought to have good friends like mine.
FELLY SMART AND THE MATTERS OF CONSEQUENCE
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
intro:
Smiles that spread like jelly
Follow our friend Felly.
It’s a minor miracle that’s just about to start.
We are his creations,
Merry musical notations.
Very soon he’ll come to claim us.
He’s the famous Felly Smart.
chorus:
We are Felly Smart and the Matters of Consequence,
Trackin’ down a rousing good time.
(Tee, Toop, and Pinkle.)
It’s an ancient art on a path that makes perfect scents,
Sniffin’ out a reason to rhyme.
When it gets deep, we hold our nose.
Steer through the heap and come out smellin’ like a rose.
We’re Felly Smart and the Matters of Consequence.
What’s important to you?
verse one:
Do you want a fancy life?
Maybe cut a little mustard with a sterling silver knife?
Is it your intention to have a million toys?
(What’s new?) (Countin’ my stuff.)
Will you ever get enough?
(repeat chorus)
verse two:
Do you want to have a heart?
Help another find the pieces when his world has blown apart?
Do you seek the vision to see beyond yourself?
(Hey, kid, who repaired my crutch?)
(I did.) Thank you very much.
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
An old man once told me
A long stare can reveal a new dimension.
It’s all there, but ya gotta pay attention.
(repeat chorus)
CHILDREN OF THE WORLD
words and music by Dave Kinnoin
©1993 Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
Look at all those lonely faces,
Lost without our warm embraces.
How could we forget to see?
verse two:
As we live in finest fashion,
Tears are fallin’ with a passion.
Who will love the children of the world?
bridge one:
Who will dry their tears?
Help them make it through?
Who will hold them close and say,
“I am here—you’re okay”?
verse three:
If the door to dreams can open,
Let the young hearts keep on hopin’
We will love the children of the world.
bridge two:
After all these years,
What are we to do?
That old Golden Rule applies—
See ourselves in their eyes.
verse four:
Then our lives won’t be so tragic.
What we wish will work like magic
When we love the children of the world.
tag:
The sky will fill with love.
You and I are children of the world.