From the peculiarly uproarious minds of Randy & Dave comes the fourth collision of these two hit songwriters, delivering more lyrical wit and clever wordplay. You won’t believe your ears.
Click a Song Title Below to Listen and See the Lyrics.
Who are Randy & Dave really?
Randy is Grammy®-winning songwriter Randy Sharp. Randy has had seven #1 country singles and has written songs for country luminaries including Reba McEntire and Marty Robbins, Dixie Chicks, Emmylou Harris, Clay Walker, Dolly Parton, as well as other music stars such as Linda Ronstadt, Edgar Winter, Blood Sweat and Tears, Art Garfunkle, Patti Page and Big Bird, and Glen Campbell. Randy has such a rich history in music that it would take pages to cover it all.
Dave is Dave Kinnoin, whose previous eight children’s recordings have racked up an impressive list of over 20 awards including Parents’ Choice Gold, NAPPA, Academics’ Choice, Mom’s Choice, KIDS First and Creative Child. But Dave is not the only one who records his music. Chances are if you have enjoyed songs by Mickey Mouse, Kermit the Frog, Winnie the Pooh, Big Bird, Bear in the Big Blue House, Ariel, Jasmine, Belle, Sebastian the Crab, and Larry the Cucumber, you know Dave Kinnoin, songwriter for some of the most beloved characters in television and movies.
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Red Jalopy
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
intro:
You ready?
Yeah, I’m ready. Are you ready?
Yep. Ruff, are you ready?
chorus:
Let’s go for a ride in our red jalopy.
You, me, and Ruff with our ears all floppy.
Lots to see in the countryside.
Jump in our red jalopy and go for a ride.
verse one:
Back in its glory days, when it belonged to Granny,
Still had a motor, all its tires, and tranny.
They gave it to my Dad, and ‘bout a million miles later,
It’s parked in the shed next to our old refrigerator.
(repeat chorus)
verse two:
The windshield’s missin’—grab some goggles if you’ve got ‘em.
The seats are funky—bring a pillow for your bottom.
I can see us winnin’ races, everybody cheerin’.
We can do the gas and brake, and Ruff can do the steerin’.
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
A hundred miles an hour or so
With just as many smiles when we…
(repeat chorus)
Key of A
110 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | A | E |
Chorus: | A | A | A | E | A A/G | D Dm | A | 2/4 E | 4/4 A |
Verse: | E | D A | E | D A | F#m F#m/F | A/E B7/Eb | E | E | E |
Chorus
Verse
Chorus 3: | A | A | A | E | A A/G | D Dm | A | 2/4 E |
Bridge: | 4/4 D | E | D | E |
Chorus 4: | A | A | A | E | A A/G | D Dm | A | 2/4 E |
Chorus 5: | 4/4 A | A | A | E | A A/G | D Dm | A | 2/4 E |
Chorus 6: | 4/4 A | A | A | E | A A/G | D Dm | A | 2/4 E | 4/4 A ||
Other Than That
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
I’ve got an itch I can’t quite reach.
Lost one flip-flop at the beach.
Cell phone has a nasty crack.
Brand-new boomerang won’t come back.
verse two:
I dropped my pizza in the dirt.
Popped another button off my shirt.
WiFi signal up and quit.
My brother’s still a nitwit.
chorus:
Other than that, other than that,
Other than that, everything’s all good.
Nothin’ workin’ out like I wish it would, but
Other than that, other than that.
verse three:
Ten cents short for the ice cream truck.
Same low branch, failed to duck.
Forgot the tacks were on the chair.
Remembered with my derrière.
verse four:
I flunked at what I once got As in.
Thought a dead bug was a raisin.
Swallowed my gum—now I’m in trouble:
Every time I burp I blow a bubble.
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
Fish start bitin’. Out of bait.
Stomach’s mad at what I ate,
But other than that.
I’ve been snorkelin’, lost a flipper.
Still in wetsuit. Broken zipper.
But other than that, other than that.
verse five:
I left my homework on the bus.
Favorite teacher heard me cuss.
Love my music, neighbors don’t.
Dog ran off, but my sister won’t.
(repeat chorus)
Key of C
98 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | C | C | C | Bb | C | C | C | C | C | C | C | Bb |
Verse: | C | C | C | C | Eb | Eb | Db | Db |
Turnaround: | C | C | C | Bb |
Verse
Chorus: | F | F | G | G | C | F G | F | F G | C | Bb | C | Bb |
Verse
Turnaround
Verse
Chorus 2: | F | F | G | G | C | F G | F | F G | C | Bb | C | C |
Bridge:| E7 | E7 | E7 | E7 | Am Am/G | Am/F Am/E | E7 | E7 | E7 | E7 | Am Am/G | Am/F Am/E | F | G |
Solo: | C | C | C | C | Eb | Eb | Db | Db |
Turnaround
Verse
Chorus 3: | F | F | G | G | C | F G | F | F G | F | F | G | G | C | F G | F | F G | C | Bb | C | Bb | C | Bb | C | C ||
Cranky Children
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
Cranky children
Should get everything they want.
When you go out,
Let them pick the restaurant.
What would it cost you
To buy that extra toy?
Give up the coffee and donut you enjoy.
Cranky children
Should get everything they want.
verse two:
Cranky children
Should be rulers of the roost.
If they’re reaching
For your stuff, give them a boost.
If they cannot touch the china on the shelves
How can they ever feel good about themselves?
Cranky children
Should be rulers of the roost.
bridge:
I know a very lucky kid
Who likes to whine and scream and cry.
Each tantrum is excusable,
Effective, and reusable.
It’s such a comfort to the senses
Not to suffer consequences.
verse three:
Cranky children
Should forever get their choice.
We should listen
To each tiny, precious voice.
And for convenience,
Give in to their demands.
I hope each modern-day
Parent understands
Cranky children
Should forever get their choice.
tag:
They’ll have lots of time to moan
Once they’re fully grown
And have some cranky children of their own.
Key of D
120 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | D B7 | Em A | D D#0 | Em A+ | A+ | 2/4 A+ |
Verse 1:| 4/4 D B7 | Em7 A | D B7 | Em7 A | Bm Bm/A# | D/A D(b5)/G# | Em Em/D# | G/D A7 | D B7 | Em7 A |
Turnaround: | D D+ | G Gm | D B7 | Em7 A |
Verse 2: | D B7 | Em7 A | D B7 | Em7 A | Bm Bm/A# | D/A D/G# | Em Em/D# | G/D A7 | D B7 | Em7 A | D | D |
Bridge: | A | D | A | D | C# | F#m | (slow down) Em7 | A |
Verse 3: | (tempo) D B7 | Em7 A | D B7 | Em7 A | Bm Bm/A# | D/A D/G# | Em Em/D# | G/D A7 | D B7 | Em7 A | F#m | B7 |
Tag: | (slow down) G | Gm | D | D#0 | (tempo) Em A | D A D ||
Scratch
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
Your dog has got a terrible itch.
Ain’t it hard to watch me
Squirm and twitch?
My eyes try to say,
“Don’t make me plead.”
Get busy with those fingernails—
You know I need…
chorus:
A scratch.
I really need a scratch.
verse two:
C’mon, give me a second or two.
I know you’ve got a lot of
People kind of things you gotta do.
But it’s drivin’ me nuts
That you would ignore
The one you’re callin’ man’s best friend
When I’m achin’ for…
(repeat chorus)
bridge one:
I could blame it on a tickle, blame it on a flea,
But I can’t get to it ‘cause of my anatomy.
bridge two:
I can’t reach it no matter what I do.
So c’mon, pal, I’m dependin’ on you.
verse three:
Oh, yeah, you’re really hittin’ the spot.
My leg is tryin’ to help you,
But I know it’s not.
Nothin’ like those fingers
Comin’ down from above.
I’m gonna have to lick ya’
To show how much I love…
(repeat chorus)
Key of A
123 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A |
Verse: | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | D | D | E | E |
Chorus: | A | A | A | A |
Verse
Chorus
Bridge: | B | B | C | D | D |
Solo: | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A |
Bridge
Turnaround: | A | A | A | A |
Verse 3: | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | D | D | E | E | E+ |
Outro: ||: A | A | A | A :|| (repeat 4 times)
Screen Door
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
I spy my beloved on some Dalmatian poo.
Her wings look so lovely against that fresh goo.
I’m knockin’ and buzzin’ and achin’ and hopin’
We’ll be together. True love will open the…
chorus:
Screen door, the screen door.
I can’t fly or crawl
Through a wire-mesh wall.
The screen door, the mean door
That’s keepin’ two lovers apart.
verse two:
I check every corner for a crack or a tear—
Some small imperfection in one single square.
I’m left here to wonder will I live my days out
Languishing, lonely, destined to gaze out the…
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
There’s still a way she could be mine.
Maybe, just maybe.
verse three:
A figure approaches, and the screen door swings wide.
I leap at the chance to be with her outside.
I frantically search for some sign of her throughout
The yard, but she’d flown in right when I flew out the…
chorus three:
Screen door, the screen door.
I can’t fly or crawl through a wire-mesh wall.
The screen door, the mean door
That’s keepin’ two lovers—
Till fate has a change of heart—
Keepin’ two lovers apart.
Key of C
109 bpm
Intro: 3/4 | C | Csus |
Verse: | C | C | F | C | Em | F | Dm7 | G | Am | Em | F | Fm | C | Am | Dm7 | G |
Chorus: | Fmaj7 | Fmaj7 | Cmaj7 | Cmaj7 | Dm7 | G | C | C7 | F | G | Em7 | Am | Dm7 | G | C | Csus |
Verse
Chorus 2: | Fmaj7 | Fmaj7 | Cmaj7 | Cmaj7 | Dm7 | G | C | C7 | F | G | Em7 | Am | Dm7 | G |
Bridge: | Ab | Ab | Eb | Eb | Db | Db | Dm7 | (slow down) G |
Verse (tempo)
Chorus 3: | Fmaj7 | Fmaj7 | Cmaj7 | Cmaj7 | Dm7 | G | C | C7 | F | G | Em7 | Am | Dm7 | G | Em7 | (slow down) A7 | (tempo) Dm7 | G | C | Csus | (slow down) C:||
What Kind of Animal
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
My bed is messed up—somethin’s been jumpin’.
Let’s see, could be a kangaroo.
Gave my pillow a pretty good thumpin’.
Isn’t that what a kangaroo might do?
chorus:
What kind, what kind of animal,
What kind of animal could it be?
What kind, what kind of animal,
What kind of animal is messin’ with me?
verse two:
Now wait a minute. Where’s my banana?
New clue points to a chimpanzee.
Must be ever so clever to plan a
Heist and a getaway perfectly.
(repeat chorus)
verse three:
Somethin’s laughin’, comin’ from the closet—
A squeaky, sneaky hyena sound.
I picture claws and powerful jaws.
It’s freakin’ me out, but I turn around…
bridge:
And there’s little sister, banana in hand.
The whole menagerie, and now I understand…
last chorus:
What kind, what kind of animal,
What kind of animal it could be.
What kind, what kind of animal,
What kind of animal is messin’ with me.
Key of E
152 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | E7 | E7 | E7 | E7 | E7 | E7 | E7 |
Verse: | E7 | E7 | E7 | A7 | E7 | E7 | E7 | 2/4 A7 | 4/4 A7 | A7 |
Chorus: | E7 | G7 | A7 | D7 E7 | E7 | G7 | A7 | 2/4 D7 |
Turnaround: | 4/4 E7 | E7 |
Verse
Chorus
Turnaround 2: | 2/4 E7 |
Solo:| 4/4 G | G | G | G C | G | G | G | (slow down) A |
Verse 3: | (tempo) E7 | E7 | E7 | A7 | E7 | E7 | E7 | (slow down) A7 |
Bridge: | G7 | F7 | G | B7 |
Chorus 3: | (tempo) E7 | G7 | A7 | D7 E7 | E7 | G7 | A7 | D7 E7 |
Chorus 4: | E7 | G7 | A7 | D7 E7 | E7 | G7 | A7 | D7 (slow down) E7 ||
Giggle and Burp Ballet
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
Everybody take your places, please.
Welcome to the world debut of “The Magic Dancing Trees.”
Under the direction of their teacher, Mrs. Chance,
The kids came up with a story full of wonderment and dance.
chorus one:
The Sycamores, Amira, Sam, Jamal, and Nell,
Go up and down, like ponies on a carousel,
And everything is going kinda sorta well
Till it becomes the Giggle and Burp Ballet.
verse two:
Someone’s mom had messed up, now we know.
She made a stop for bubbly pop and brought it to the show.
She was only bein’ nice and didn’t think it through,
And now we’re watching a dozen kids all full of CO2.
chorus two:
A hickory does something that is unrehearsed.
A belch escapes, and trust me, it is just the first
Of many more from others as their bellies burst
With laughter in the Giggle and Burp Ballet.
bridge:
Mrs. Chance attempts to hide her eyes.
“This cannot be happening,” she cries.
Oh no, much to her chagrin, all of the parents join in.
chorus three:
Well, in spite of disbelief and dropping jaws,
The room erupts in snickers, chuckles, and guffaws.
The curtain falls to wild and thunderous applause.
I guess there’s really nothing left to say
But welcome to the Giggle and Burp Ballet.
Key of C
116 bpm
Intro: | sound effects |
Verse 1: 4/4 | G | C | F C F C | F G | E | Am | D7 | G | 2/4 G |
Chorus: | 4/4 C | C | G | G | C | 2/4 E0 | 4/4 A7 | Dm7 G7 |
Turnaround: | C |
Verse
Chorus
Turnaround 2: | C G |
Solo: | 4/4 C | C | G | G | C | 2/4 E0 A7 | Dm7 G7 | C |
Bridge: | F | F | C | C | D7 | D7 | G | G |
Chorus 3: | C | C | G | G | C | 2/4 E0 | 4/4 A7 | Dm7 G7 | Em7 A7 | Dm7 G | C ||
For a Biscuit
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
Poochie rounds up a pig that got out of its pen,
Chases off a raccoon that’s been eyein’ a hen,
Brings the newspaper up, drops it right at my feet.
Wiggle-waggily tail says, “It’s time for a treat.”
chorus:
Poochie does all that.
Poochie does all that.
Poochie does all that
For a biscuit.
verse two:
Poochie wakes up the neighbors at the first whiff of smoke,
Nudges Mom back on the trail ‘fore she steps in poison oak.
Pulls a kid off of the ice at the sound of a crack.
Wiggle-waggily tail says, “You owe me a snack.”
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
It’s one amazin’ thing after another!
Our hero proceeds unafraid.
All praise accepted, no hugs rejected,
But Poochie still wants to get paid.
verse three:
Now I’m writing a song—only gotten so far.
Poochie dances around as I play my guitar.
Kindly offers a howl to complete the last chord.
Wiggle-waggily tail says, “I’ve earned a reward.”
(repeat chorus)
Key of D
86 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | A | D | A | D |
Verse: | D | A7 | A7 | D | D7 | G | D | 2/4 A | 4/4 D |
Chorus: | A | D | A | D |
Verse
Chorus
Bridge: | G | D | A | D | G | A7 | E7 | A7 |
Solo: | D | A | A | D |
Verse 3: | D | A7 | A7 | D | D7 | 2/4 G | 4/4 D0 | D | 2/4 A | 4/4 D |
Chorus
Chorus
Grunge Babies
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
After forty-five minutes playin’ in the dirt,
No one even thinks of puttin’ on a cleaner shirt.
They run to the basement, wipe the sweat away, and then
Grab their guitars and turn ‘em up to ten.
They’re the…
chorus:
Grunge Babies.
Grunge Babies.
Old enough to strap on a bass,
Young enough to thrash around
All over the place.
Grunge Babies.
Grunge Babies.
verse two:
Spend a lotta time workin’ on their attitude—
Scrunchin’ up their faces, screamin’ like they’ve come unglued.
Other kids might tell ‘em they’re driftin’ way off track,
As if that even matters when there’s drums that need a whack.
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
All they ever care about is gettin’ raucous right.
They’re not spendin’ any time actin’ all polite.
(repeat chorus)
Key of Gm
109 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | Gm | Gm | Gm | Gm |
Verse: | Gm | Gm Bb | Gm | F | Gm | Gm Bb | F | F |
Chorus: | Gm | Eb F | Gm | Eb F | Cm | Gm | Cm | D |
Turnaround: | Gm | Gm Bb | Gm | Gm Bb |
Verse
Chorus 2: | Gm | Eb F | Gm | Eb F | F | Gm | F | D | D |
Bridge: | Eb(b5) | Eb(b5) | Eb(b5) | Eb(b5) | Eb(b5) | Eb(b5) | Eb(b5) Dm | Dm |
Solo | Gm | Gm Bb | Gm | F | Gm | Gm Bb | F | F |
Chorus 3: | Gm | Eb F | Gm | Eb F | Cm | Gm | Cm | D |
Chorus 4: | Gm | Eb F | Gm | Eb F | Cm | Gm | Cm | D |
Outro: | Gm | Eb F | Gm | Eb F | Gm | Eb F | Gm ||
Gubble Bum (Spoonerism Song)
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
I have some gubble bum in py mocket.
Would you pike a liece?
I bought it at the standy core.
It only cost new tickels
‘Cause it wasn’t frery vesh.
No, it wasn’t frery vesh.
The label says it’s chuper sewy and ledicious.
Let’s find a trady shee
Near Lake Havasu and chave a hew.
verse two:
I have some gubble bum in py mocket.
I’d be shad to glare.
Let’s have a contest, mou and ye,
To blow the bargest lubble
Before the pubbles bop.
Before the pubbles bop.
Let’s walk out to fy mavorite nestidation,
Stand on the Brondon Lidge
At Lake Havasu,
And chave a hew.
bridge:
Not a ware in the curled,
Just blew, pow, chop,
Pew, chow, blop.
Blew, pow, chop,
Chew, blow, pop.
ending:
I have some bubble gum in my pocket.
Would you like a piece?
Key of A
160 bpm
Intro: 4/4 | A E/G# | D/F# A/E | D A/C# | E | E |
Verse: | A | E | D | E | A E/G# | F#m | E | A E/G# | F#m F#m/E | D | D | E | E | E | F#7 | F#7 | B7 | B7 | G7 | G7 | F7 | F7 | E7 | E7 |
Verse
Solo: | F#7 | F#7 | B7 | B7 | G7 | G7 | F7 | F7 | E7 | E7 |
Bridge: | C#7 | C#7 | Dmaj7 | B7 | D | Esus | Esus | E |
Outro: | A | E | D | E | A E/G# | D/F# A/E | D A/C# | E A ||
Quiero Queso
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
verse one:
The chef says to Cynthia, “I’ll make somethin’ delish.
I have ingredients to make my famous dish:
Finest vegetables, spices, fruits, and meats,
Bread right from the oven topped with nutty little treats.
I never met a taste bud I couldn’t tantalize,
So how about a plateful?”
Cynthia replies…
chorus one:
Quiero queso, por favor.
Quiero queso—that’s all I’m hungry for.
verse two:
The chef smiles at Cynthia. “Here’s one I know you’ll want:
A special meal unique to my fine restaurant.
Everyone who takes a bite of it flips out.
The mayor had some, and now it’s all she talks about.
To have it go uneaten, after going to such pains,
Could hurt my reputation.”
Cynthia explains…
chorus two:
Quiero queso, por favor.
Quiero queso—that’s all I’m hungry for.
Quiero queso. Es el mejor.
Quiero queso, and now I want it even more.
bridge:
Cynthia and cheese is like a panda and bamboo.
Given all the choices, cheese is all she wants to chew.
Nothin’ else will do.
verse three:
The chef glares at Cynthia. “My prize dessert will please.
One bite and you’ll forget all about your stupid cheese.
Cookies, ice cream, cake, cherry on the top,
Hot fudge over all of it—you’ll lick up every drop.
You’d have to be muy loca to turn down all these sweets.
You’re being such a silly girl.”
Cynthia repeats…
chorus three:
Quiero queso, por favor.
Quiero queso—that’s all I’m hungry for.
Quiero queso. Es el mejor.
Quiero queso, and now I want it even more.
Por favor.
Quiero queso—that’s all I’m hungry for.
Es el mejor.
Quiero queso—that’s all I’m hungry for.
Unless you have a hot dog.
Key of A
109 bpm
[note: A5 is a power chord. That means
there is no third (in this case, C#).]
Intro: 4/4 | drums | drums | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 |
Verse: | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 | B7 | D | A5 | A5 | E7 | E7 | D | E7 | 2/4 E7 |
Chorus: | 4/4 A5 | A5 | G | D |
Turnaround: | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 |
Verse
Chorus 2: | 4/4 A5 | A5 | G | D | A5 | A5 | G | D |
Bridge: | F | F | G | G | F | F | G | G |
Solo: | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 |
Verse
Chorus 3: | 4/4 A5 | A5 | G | D | A5 | A5 | G | D |
Tag: | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 | A5 ||
Nobody
words and music by Randy Sharp and Dave Kinnoin
©2020 With Any Luck Music (BMI) and Song Wizard Music (ASCAP)
chorus:
I wanna be Nobody.
I wanna be Nobody.
When you think of all the things Nobody can do,
Seems like everybody oughta wanna be Nobody, too.
I wanna be Nobody.
verse one:
I wanna hit a home run every time at bat.
My friends all laugh at me and say, “Nobody can do that.”
I’d like to ride my pogo stick from here to Pakistan.
My friends all say, “No way, Jose. Nobody can.”
So…
(repeat chorus)
verse two:
I wanna build a time machine to drop in on whenever.
I’m sure I’ll hear all my friends say, “Nobody is that clever.”
I’d like to go much faster than the speed a light beam goes.
I don’t know how to do that now. Nobody knows.
So…
(repeat chorus)
bridge:
Nobody is the only one who knows all there is to know,
Who can do what people say is impossible, so…
(repeat chorus)
Key of D
113 bpm
Intro: | drums | 4/4 D | D |
Chorus: | D | D | E | E | G | B7 | C | A7 | D | Bb C |
Verse: | A | A | G | A | A | A | A | E7 | Bb A | A |
Chorus
Verse
Chorus
Bridge: | (slow down) Dmaj7 | Dmaj7 | G | G | Cmaj7 | Cmaj7 | E7 | A7 | A7 |
Solo: | (tempo) D | D | E | E | G | B7 | C | A7 |
Chorus 4: | D | D | E | E | G | B7 | C | A7 |
Chorus 5: | D | D | E | E | G | B7 | C | A7 |
Outro: | D | (slow down) Bb C | D ||